Here I Am

Do you ever stop and just think about the vastness of God and who He is?   As we have begun to prepare for the New Year and all the things that it will bring, I began to ponder over this past year and the effect it had on my relationship with God.  2013 was one of the strangest years I’ve had in my life.   Financially, it is probably the worst year I’ve ever had.  There have been times in my life when I’ve struggled, but there would always be help in sight.  It was not the case this past year.  There were times when I needed to borrow money, and the only certain thing I could tell the lender was that I was 100% sure that I had NO IDEA when I would be able to repay.  Now who wants to deal with a borrower like that?   On this past Sunday evening, it was my charge to lead the sermonic selection in our night service.

The song was Fred Hammond’s “You Are The Living Word”.


As I began to minister, the Lord brought to my mind what He’d done for me throughout the year.  While I have the tendency to focus on my lack and my hard times, God reminded me that He’d kept me through it all.   There is a part of the chorus that says, “You Are The Living Word”.  Every time I would get to that part, I could hear the Lord saying, “But I brought you through.  But I kept you.”  It was overwhelming!  Because God is unchanging, I expect the same thing in 2014 that I received in 2013.  I expect Him to bring me through.  I don’t know everything that will come this year.  I don’t know everything that God has in store for me.  I do know that there are some promises He made to me.  And I know that this is the year of manifestation for me.  I have learned, and am still learning, that God’s purpose and plan are stronger than my actions.   I’m also learning that regardless of what I do, God’s love for me will never change.  It will never decrease.   It will never fail.  It will never run out. His love for me is unconditional.  But to progress in God and to get the things from Him that I’ve seen, it will cost me something.  It will cost me me.  The Great Big God of the universe wants me.  So this year, that is exactly what I will work to give Him.  I’ve learned that I am so weak and frail that I sometimes don’t even have the strength to carry myself to Him.  He’s so big and powerful that that doesn’t even phase Him.  He’ll come to where I am.  He’s willing to meet me and bring me to Himself.  All He wants from me is surrender.  He wants my “Here I Am”.  I’ll never understand why God chose me, but here I am.  I will never understand why He’s given me so many chances, but here I am.  I don’t understand why He chose someone as insufficient as I know I am, but here I am.  Whatever you want from me Lord…..

Here I am.